its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
