and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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