walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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