love makes seman taste better
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
