I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize