feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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