I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize