I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
