If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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