oh god the rape fog is back!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
