When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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