We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
