But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
