I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
