I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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