Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
