you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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