I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I need moral support for this bender
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
