I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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