So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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