Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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