How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
