Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
