I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
