i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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