Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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