A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
