i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
