john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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