You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
third nipple confirmed
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
