Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
