he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
