is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
