If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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