Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
