dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
