so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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