I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I bet he comes in French.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
