Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
