Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
