Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
