Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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