marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
