You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
