What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
