like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
