I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
