so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
