Having a random hookup so left but love u
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
