This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
