you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
