giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My dick has a subreddit
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
