I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
