I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
