I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
