i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
