i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Someone signed my nipple.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
