theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
