Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
