I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
