I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
