All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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