Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
