we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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