her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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