just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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