My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
