i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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