I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
4 words: hood of his car
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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