I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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