"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
