watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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